VISITING AUTHOR/EDITOR ARTICLE

JULY 2008

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so man and woman would live long and healthy lives. 

Then, using God’s bountiful gifts, Satan created dairy ice cream and Magnums.

And Satan said, "You want hot fudge with that?"

And man said, "Yes!"

And woman said, "I’ll have one too with chocolate sprinkles."

And so they gained 10lbs.

So God created the healthy yogurt that woman might keep the figure that Adam found so fair. 

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.

And woman went from size 10 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

And Satan presented blue cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.

And man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control and
an X box.

God gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and super size fries. This brought cardiac arrest!

God sighed . . . . and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

The Final Word on Nutrition.

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here’s the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat lots of fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you!